Serenity Prayer Redux

This is the Serenity Prayer I learned two decades ago as a child. I had no idea what it’s true value was back then, as a 22 year old. Yes, at 22, I was still a child. This was the first life preserver I managed to hold onto with any real conviction.

Years later, I still utter these words in times of trial.

God,

Grant me the

Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The

Courage to change the things I can,

and

The

Wisdom to know the difference.

Yes, the line breaks are there intentionally.

It’s the first part that always gives me trouble. Finding the serenity to remain calm in acceptance of the thing I have no power over. I find myself once again, back under the wheel of life, being ground into the dust, wishing the pain would stop, that I would feel loved by anyone at all, that the demons urging me to just end my own suffering would take a god damned break and bugger off for a while.

At times like this, I turn back to the God I grew up with, and the powers that I am learning to put faith in.